EDUGAYTION

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:06:04 -0500

Hey there,

So in my travels as an advocate and activist, I’ve seen so much frustration. Frustration on the part of activists who work their asses off with sometimes very few steps made towards their goals. Frustration on the part of those same activists that more people aren’t upset, angry and taking it to the streets. I’ve seen frustration on the parts of would-be activists who know they should be involved but their apathy somehow stops them from getting involved.

I believe in my heart of hearts that at the root of all of this is education, or more appropriately, edu”gay”tion.

As a child growing up in fairly liberal parts of the country, I can tell you that the only references to “gay” in the schools were shouted at me on my way to rehearsals for “Evita.” I didn’t have a classroom setting where someone said “Harvey Milk was x, y or z” and any references to the Holocaust were only about the Jews who were killed.

Then during college, having begun to figure out who I am, I knew I had to figure out where I came from. I read what I could about the leaders of the LGBT movement and I watched as many horrible, stupid and sometimes poignant gay films as I could. I even managed to fall for an exchange student or two to further my edugaytion.

I’ve been meeting for the past month with a group of incredible minds and talking to a lot of leaders within our movement as to how we best approach the problems with edugaytion. The brilliant Ann Northrop (if you don’t know who she is, google her now and that can be your first assignment), spoke last night about early ACT UP meetings (again…if you don’t know ACT UP, google!). At these meetings, the first part would be devoted to telling the group about the details one specific issue, there would be questions asked and discussion on said issue, and then an action could be planned or not planned, based on the group's response to it. And in those early days, we didn’t have the internet to go look things up and Lord knows the media wasn’t covering a lot of LGBT news, so we looked to each other for this enlightenment.

So I’d like to propose a Culture of Edugaytion. If most of us knew everything that was keeping us from gaining our Equality. If we all knew about the use of our rights as a political pawn and if we all understood the betrayals we are facing within our government on a daily basis, we wouldn’t have any choice but to stand up in the streets and raise hell.

Not everyone has the time to go read Stonewall: The Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution by David Carter or Gay New York by George Chauncey (although making time is highly recommended). Not everyone has an hour a day to go read Towleroad.com or GoodAsYou.org or 365gay.com (although I suggest it). But how many of you know these statistics and do they inspire you to do something about what’s happening?

-As many as 15,000 gay people were executed during the Holocaust.

-This year, the Ugandan Government is considering (and will probably pass) legislation which could put to death not only LGBT people, but their friends who refuse to knowingly report them.

-In 1791, France became the first West European country to decriminalize sodomy. By 2002, more than 40 other countries followed suit. It wasn’t until 2003, that LGBT people could legally have sex in the United States.

-Former TN Rep Harold Ford, Jr. is most likely running for the US Senate in New York. He twice voted for Bush’s Federal Marriage Amendment but now claims he’s in favor of Equality. This would be like David Duke running to represent Harlem and claiming he now believes Blacks and Whites are equal. He’s running against Kirsten Gillibrand, who has been the primary force behind the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

I don’t want to burden you with too many lessons for right now, but you can google any of these topics to find out more. I hope to send out blog posts and emails more regularly, highlighting the important things we need to know about our history, our present and our future. I think that’s the core of it. I think once we know and understand just where it is we came from and where we have the right to be, we’ll get angry enough to start standing up.

In Solidarity,

Jamie
www.TalkAboutEquality.org

Wake Up

Thu, 4 Feb 2010 10:43:56 -0500

In light of today's National Prayer Breakfast, hosted by the Anti-Gay "religious" group, The Family (comprised of several elected officials, many of whom helped shape the Ugandan "Kill the Gays" Bill currently under evaluation, and many of whom have had several very notorious marital scandals in recent years), I decided to share with you all some of the other horrific legislation that exists around the world.

Obama and Hillary both spoke at this morning's breakfast calling the proposed Ugandan legislation "odious" and calling for all countries to condemn this kind of violence against gays.

But Uganda is far from being the first country considering such legislation. There are a whole mess of countries where you can be fined, tortured, put in prison for life and yes, even killed for being gay. We may think things are okay if we live in the bubble of a huge US city, having our nights out, our unprotected sex and surrounding ourselves with a safe cover so that we don't have to pay any attention to those who despise us. But guess what? People HATE us. Like, REALLY hate us. People want us DEAD.

We truly need to wake up and look around, because it's all right on our doorstep. You may think that you're safe and that your distance from places like Uganda is protecting you. But the truth of the matter is, the Ugandan legislation was all but written by religious bigots right here in the US. Religious bigots who are YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS. If you don't start standing up for yourselves, no one else will.

If you are my friend, if you are straight, please help us. Please start speaking out about the intolerance, whether it's someone at your job who likes to use the word "fag" on a regular basis or if it's your priest who condemns homosexuality and gay marriage. Please go have a conversation with them about this. And let them know that their intolerance only breeds more intolerance, hatred, and yes, eventually murder. It all comes from somewhere. Matthew Shepard's murderers were taught from a very young age that homosexuality is wrong. In an impressionable mind, this will ALWAYS translate into "Homosexuals do not deserve to live." Mark my words - many more of us will die before this message gets across and it will not end until YOU start saying something.

We are all responsible for this. And by standing up and saying something or doing something about this, you can quite literally SAVE LIVES.

Please take a gander at the list below and start waking up.

In Solidarity,

Jamie

www.talkaboutequality.org

Algeria – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Angola – Labor Camps

Antigua and Barbuda – 15 Years in Prison

Bahrain – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Bangladesh – 10 Years to Life in Prison

Barbados – Life in Prison

Belize – 10 Years in Prison

Benin – 3 Years in Prison

Bhutan – 1 Month to 1 Year in Prison

Botswana – A Fine to 7 Years in Prison

Brunei – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Cameroon – A Fine to 5 Years in Prison

Cook Islands – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Djibouti – 10 to 12 Years in Prison

Dominica – 10 Years in Prison

Egypt – 5 Years in Prison

Eritrea – 3 to 10 Years in Prison

Ethiopia – 10 Days to 3 Years in Prison

Gambia – A Fine to14 Years in Prison

Ghana – Not Known

Grenada – 10 Years in Prison

Guinea – 6 Months to 3 Years in Prison

Guinea Bissau – Labor Camps

India – A Fine to Life in Prison

Iran – Death

Jamaica – 10 Years Hard Labor

Kenya – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Kiribati – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Kuwait – A Fine to 7 Years in Prison

Lebanon – A Fine to 1 Year in Prison

Lesotho – Not Known

Liberia – A Fine

Libya – A Fine to 5 Years in Prison

Malawi – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Malaysia – A Fine to 20 Years in Prison

Mauritania – Death

Mauritius – A Fine to 5 Years in Prison

Morocco – 6 Months to 3 Years in Prison

Mozambique – Labor Camps

Myanmar/Burma – 10 Years to Life in Prison

Namibia – Not Known

Nauru – 14 Years Hard Labor

Nepal – A Fine to 1 Year in Prison

Nicaragua – 1 to 3 Years in Prison

Nigeria – 5 Years in Prison to Death

Niue – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Oman – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Pakistan – 2 Years to Life in Prison

Palau – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Palestine – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Papua New Guinea – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Qatar – A Fine to 5 Years in Prison

Saint Kitts and Nevis – 10 Years in Prison

Saint Lucia – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Saint Vincent and Grenadines – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Samoa – A Fine to 7 Years in Prison

Sao Tome and Principe – Labor Camps

Saudi Arabia – Death

Senegal – 1 Month to 5 Years in Prison

Seychelles – A Fine to 2 Years in Prison

Sierra Leone – Life in Prison

Singapore – 2 Years in Prison

Solomon Islands – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Somalia – 3 Months in Prison to Death

Sri Lanka – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Sudan – 5 Years in Prison to Death

Swaziland – A Fine

Syria – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Tanzania – A Fine to 25 Years in Prison

Togo – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Tokelau – A Fine to 10 Years in Prison

Trinidad and Tobago – 25 Years in Prison

Tunisia – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Turkmenistan – A Fine to 2 Years in Prison

Tuvalu – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Uganda – A Fine to Life in Prison

United Arab Emirates – Death

Uzbekistan – A Fine to 3 Years in Prison

Yemen – Flogging to Death

Zambia – A Fine to 14 Years in Prison

Zimbabwe – A Fine to 1 Year in Prison

This list was compiled in 2008, no doubt things have only gotten worse since then.

An Early Valentine for nj?

Wed, 6 Jan 2010 22:59:21 -0500

Dear Friends,

Tomorrow, the NJ State Senate will be voting on Marriage Equality. This is enormous and we did not expect this vote to happen. Those who oppose Equality are bringing out their supporters and we need to bring out ours.

Tomorrow, we have the opportunity to take an enormous step forward as human beings in saying to the rest of the world, “It is not okay to discriminate.” In a time when some countries are proposing legislation which would make homosexuality punishable by death, and when others already have these laws on the books, and when in our own country, hate crimes have been increasing exponentially, we need to stand up.

Friends, I know a lot of you, gay or straight, may never want to get married. But this step is about far more than that. This is about Lawrence King, an 8th grader, who 2 years ago, got up the nerve to ask another boy to be his Valentine on Valentine’s Day. Out of nothing more than fear that people might think he’s gay as well, the other little boy brought a gun to school and in front of his classmates, shot Larry in the head.

This is not a departure from what tomorrow’s vote is about. If NJ were to pass Marriage Equality, it would send a message to the rest of the country and the world, that hatred, ignorance and intolerance is not what we are about.

I beg of you. If you live in NJ or if you don’t, call a NJ State Senator TODAY or tomorrow and let them know why this is so important. If it doesn’t happen tomorrow in NJ, it will be at least another four years before it can be brought up due to a new homophobic Governor taking office on January 20th.

http://www.njleg.state.nj.

us/members/abcroster.asp

Friends. We need to keep going if we want this to happen. If you aren’t going to do it for yourself, do it for the little kid who so desperately wants to find his Valentine.

In Solidarity,

Jamie
www.TalkAboutEquality.org

jamie’s lessons from 2009

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:58:11 -0500

Okay, I've done this for a few years now and this year is no exception. Read. Enjoy. Don't read too much into it and make your own list. It's therapeutic!

Jamie's Lessons from 2009

1. Patience is a virtue.

2. If you treat people well, you'd be surprised at the results.

3. "The Butterfly" from the Broadway musical "The Story of My Life" by Neil Bartram and Brian Hill and sung by Will Chase is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

4. Dating in New York is like eating glass and expecting your mouth not to get cut.

5. It's sometimes upsetting that I never really grew up with grandparents.

6. New friends can really enrich your life if they stick around.

7. Working towards civil rights takes a lot of time and a lot of perseverance.

8. Bigots suck.

9. Don't drunk dial your mother.

10. Dustin Lance Black is my hero.

11. Don't make short jokes around little people.

12. failblog.org is pretty brilliant.

13. Living in NJ ain't so bad. especially if you have a nice view.

14. My dog is the best.

15. Texas people are fun. and they drink a lot.

16. Carrie Prejean is an idiot.

17. Don't sleep with people who you know have boyfriends…it's just not fair to anyone involved.

18. 4am? on a Wednesday? really?

19. There is nothing like the sound of a Victrola.

20. Not everyone thinks equality is okay.

21. Rallies and marches are kinda awesome

22. I'm now 100% a Mac person.

23. Sometimes it's best to take a breath and be happy you have a job when no one else does.

24. Living in an episode of Gossip Girls can make you want to punch people. hard. in the face.

25. I like having a fancy camera.

26. Don't underestimate anyone. You never know where you're going to find an ally.

27. Perez Hilton is an idiot.

28. Gay Pride can be an oxymoron if all you see are drunken fools dancing in the streets during the march.

29. Going all-out for Halloween can be a LOT of fun…but avoid a full body fur costume if it's pouring rain.

30. Singing Lily's Eyes with Jason Danieley...even if you're temporarily filling in for Will Chase...can be life changing.

31. If you have a friend that's a flake, you need to let them know…if you don't they will continue to be a flake.

32. Don't let the last thing you say to someone be "You're wearing too much eye makeup and you look like a whore." Especially if you're in 6th grade when you say it.

33. Facebook is kinda awesome.

34. Wii Fit only works if you use it. Simply purchasing it will not make you fit.

35. Actors are fucking crazy.

36. The gay community can be really frustrating.

37. The movie MILK will one day be seen as a major landmark in our movement for equality.

38. 1400 people is a lot of people to bring to Washington DC.

39. Google alerts are cool so long as you don't request every time the word "gay" is said in the media to alert you on your cell phone.

40. Producing 40 concerts in a year is not a requirement.

41. AIDS is far from over.

42. Just because someone is famous doesn't mean they're smart.

43. My favorite painting is "Stars" by Maxfield Parrish.

44. It's really nice to go on a vacation with a good friend.

45. It's really nice to go on a vacation on your own.

46. It's really nice to go on vacation.

47. Not every question has an answer.

48. Marching alongside 200,000 likeminded individuals down Pennsylvania Avenue is easily one of the most empowering feelings you can ever feel.

49. Friday's makes awesome Mozzarella sticks.

50. Please stop singing songs and start acting them.

51. I can't turn straight people gay, much though I may try.

52. I am not a fan of the Upper East Side.

53. Smoking is gross.

54. Lucy Simon is one of the most talented people in the world.

55. Sometimes things just can't be explained.

56. I have too many DVDs.

57. Just because you elect a politician based on what he says, doesn't mean he's going to do what he says.

58. Disappointment in elected officials is redundant.

59. I never want to be an elected official

60. Five Napkin Burger doesn't really require Five Napkins, but it's a damn good burger.

61. People who speak against marriage equality and then cheat on their wives should have their balls cut off.

62. Sometimes I take things too far.

63. Max on Essen only gets handsomer and more talented with age.

64. Gay bars can be fun if you're with a friend.

65. Gay bars are not very fun when your cute friends get charged $5 for the same drink you just paid $13 for.

66. There's a difference between holding a grudge and protecting yourself.

67. Eli will always love me. So long as I feed and walk him :)

68. Some singers need to learn that songs have lyrics AND notes.

69. To get what you want, sometimes you need to withhold your rent.

70. If you live downstairs from me and think large blow-up snowmen, turkeys or mickey mouse are appropriate decorations, they will be cut.

71. Craft Club is one of the most therapeutic things I have ever been a part of.

72. Why is a good Cosmo so difficult to make?

73. I really like taking pictures of people.

74. Sometimes buying eight Moroccan lanterns is not the most important thing in the world.

75. My favorite word is still "grace."

76. Sometimes you have to let people go.

77. Sometimes you're supposed to get angry.

78. Sometimes Broadway musicals don't succeed on merit.

79. I think musical theatre writers need to go back to creating art and stop thinking about the "future" of their musicals.

80. Riffing doesn't make you a good singer.

81. Barbra Streisand makes me laugh.

82. Sometimes you just have to believe, even when you think it's weird to.

83. Sometimes good friends are all you need.

84. Roller coasters aren't as scary as they seem.

85. Sometimes involuntary singing while on a roller coaster is okay.

86. Laura Benanti is an incredible actress.

87. Cooking with real ingredients can actually be fun.

88. Giving up isn't an option.

89. Conversations with God is an all-ways inspiring read.

90. I'm really proud of what I've accomplished and I have a lot more where that came from...even though sometimes I'm too tired to realize it.

91. I'd really like to go back to Africa some day.

92. Flea Markets are fun.

93. Sometimes all it takes is a humidifier.

94. Wasn't 2010 supposed to have flying cars and self-cleaning kitchens?

95. Ancestry.com is fascinating.

96. Sometimes all you really need is a good hug from a good friend.

97. Sometimes your friends aren't going to be there and you'll just have to figure it out on your own.

98. Sometimes we need to remind our elected officials just who elected them.

99. I love Rachel Maddow.

100. Nothing will change unless you change it.

death

Wed, 9 Dec 2009 22:57:34 -0500

Some days, I've just had enough. I've been angry, very angry over things that have occurred in this country, in my personal life, in the world in general. And there are times when I truly feel I can't handle any more.

Some of you may know that in Uganda right now, they are considering turning a bill into law which would not only criminalize homosexuality, but it would make it a crime punishable by death. Gays would be EXECUTED and those who don't report gays to the authorities would have a minimum prison sentence of 3 years. Some of the fear which has caused such extreme measures has been created by a book in America by a man who is not only an unlicensed "therapist" but a man who has been kicked out of any professional organization he's been a part of.

I just watched the incredible Rachel Maddow interview him and debunk everything he had to say while he tried to play the "we love everyone" card. And when he played it, she would pull out a quote from one of his books accusing homosexuals of being more likely to be predators of young children. This man is responsible for our MURDERS.

Additionally, Rev. Rick Warren (who gave Obama's inaugural benediction) in addition to some of your own Senators, have refused to denounce the actions of the Ugandan government. When are you going to begin standing up?

To think that I could be put to death for nothing more than who I am biologically programmed to love, is terrifying to me.

Make some change. Please stand up for me. Please stand up for the friends, relatives and loved ones you have who are gay. And if you are gay, stand up for yourself.

Educate yourselves. It is quite literally a matter of life and death.

In Solidarity,

Jamie
www.talkaboutequality.org

a light.

Wed, 2 Dec 2009 22:57:11 -0500

I am truly disgusted by the actions of the New York State Senate today.

If you don't know, after a great deal of anticipation, the NY State Senate took up a debate and vote on marriage equality today. After a debate where 17 people spoke fervently in favor of equality for all New Yorkers and one person spoke against it, the Senate defeated the Marriage Equality bill 38-24.

Now first off, I'd like to thank the 24 brave individuals who proudly stood and vocally supported equality. And I'd like to demand an explanation from the 37 of 38 senators who cowardly voted against equality. Only one of those who voted against this bill had the gumption to say why he didn't agree with all New Yorkers being treated equally. The other 37 are too afraid to be labeled the bigots that they are, to actually say or speak out loud about their ignorant vote.

In the past, I have seen defeat as a reason to get angry and point fingers at the bigoted individuals who have yet to understand what our forefathers hoped to accomplish when founding this great country. Today, I feel better about focusing on the actions of one individual, who though defeated, stood up in the name of humanity.

Ruth Hassell-Thomspon, a Democratic Senator from the Bronx had not announced which way she would vote before today. And then, in one of the bravest moments I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing, she stood before her peers, her constituents and all of us, and told us that Equality should prevail. Despite religious differences and many constituents who told her to vote against the measure, Hassell-Thompson, in a brilliant act of courage told the Senate about her brother.

Her brother was gay and because of who he was, it took decades of work to try and build a relationship with him. He died in France, far away from his family and bereft of most family associations in the US only because of who he loved. Today is the first time she said publicly that her brother was gay. And today she voted in favor of Equality.

Her brother would have been proud.

Today, instead of pointing fingers at the bigots who stand against us, I believe it is important to honor this brave woman who provides such a strong step forward in our movement and is a prime example of WHY we need to tell our stories. Here is a vote we would not have had if someone had not told their story.

Tell them. We need to know who you are. Come out if you possibly can and help us gain equality. It will not happen without you.

Someone asked me tonight if I thought civil disobedience was the answer, the solution, and I struggled with my reply. On the one hand, it gets attention and passion is never something to be squelched. But on the other hand, there is a seed deep inside me that tells me positive action is what is required. Action that highlights the brave moments like that of Senator Hassell-Thompson, moments where we stand up and show the world that we are proud of who we are. Moments where we stand together and hope and pray that we will find our equality, and moments where we change the mind of someone who once stood against us, moments like these will bring our equality.

The more we speak up, the more minds we will change. We will have Equality. I know we will. But it can't happen if we don't tell our stories. Keep it up.

In Solidarity,

Jamie

www.talkaboutequality.org

thankful...

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 22:55:48 -0500

I'm sitting here, having taken a break from a bevy of baking and cooking for my friend's Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. And I'm thinking about the things I'm thankful for.

I spend a lot of time getting angry, being hurt and frustrated over our struggle for Equality. I get very upset about complacency and laziness within our movement. So many of us thinking it's not our fight. And it exhausts me. So I'm taking this moment to be thankful and I wanted to let you know.

I'm thankful for all of you. All of you in these little facebook groups who have truly made extraordinary steps in this fight. For Eric Ethington in Utah who has personally taken on bigoted legislators and organized a group to come to the National Equality March.

I'm thankful for Gavin and Jenny and Rory, Lane, Philip, Ryan and Kendal and everyone at Broadway Impact who made such an amazing team in putting together 25 buses and bringing 1400 people to DC for the National March.

I'm thankful that there was a National March for Equality and that we got to see in person, the support that we truly have in this fight.

I'm thankful for my extraordinary friends Blake and Colleen who have taken on this cause as their own, Colleen showing up to everything a good Ally should and Blake taking a ball and running with it and starting the Equality Army (go join if you haven't - www.blakehayes.com/equalit

y).

I'm thankful for my other friends who are sending messages of support here on facebook, or showing up at vigils and rallies around the country to let people know it's important to them. And a special shout out to my straight friends who are taking this cause on as their own, realizing that gay rights are indeed civil rights.

I'm thankful for my family who has been always-supportive, loving and kind and even making that extra step and bringing up Equality in situations when they know they may be judged for it. They don't care. And it's because they love me.

And I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for the hundreds of notes you've sent along, for young Mike in Cleveland who came out because of something I wrote here, to the amazing mom, Jean in Nebraska who has written me about her daughter's struggle with coming out, To Erin, the straight Jewish mom who is hell-bent on raising her children with acceptance for those who are different from them, To Theresa who continually walks the walk here in New York and all of you who are making steps in every way you can towards equality.

So, I hope you all have a marvelous Thanksgiving, wherever you may be. I hope you spend some time around the dinner table talking about Equality if you can and I hope you can look around that table and think of everything you are thankful for.

Much love and thanks,

Jamie

www.TalkAboutEquality.org

are they bigots

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:14:59 -0500

I’m angry. I’m angry at every person in this country who has made the conscious decision to vote for or fund the stripping away of my civil rights. I’m angry that state after state has voted, and in that vote said that I am less than them. I am angry that politicians are so cowardly that they refuse to even discuss the issue of equality, when they know in their deepest conscious self, that it is the proper thing to endorse.

There is a lot of discussion going on regarding what we do next. What fight is worth it for us? Do we fight a possible referendum stripping away our brothers’ and sisters’ rights in New Hampshire or Iowa? Do we focus solely on the Federal government, which, in my opinion is the only possible way of gaining full equality for all citizens in all matters governed by civil law? Do we sit down and figure out why it is the majority of Americans continue to look at us as unequal?

My answer to this is: All of the above, but my focus is on the latter question. Who is it that is voting against us? Religious zealots? Bigots? Homophobes? Friends? Family? Who is it that believes marriage equality will ultimately dissolve American civilization as we know it?

As I’ve discussed before and as I believe in my soul, the most minds and hearts will be changed by our standing up for ourselves and coming out. And again, I call on all those who can be brave enough to do so, to come out. And I also believe that if you are able to, and do not, that you are allowing those you love to continue to see you as less than them. Additionally, if you can come out and have not, you are sending a strong message to young gay people that what you are is something to be ashamed of, continuing a long line of self-hatred and suicide among our youngest.

We, as a community, have a great deal of trouble seeing eye-to-eye on things – especially tactics on how we win this fight. This is because we represent every walk of life – White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Man, Woman, Rich, Poor, Democrat, Republican, but if we want to succeed in gaining our civil equality, we need to get on the same page.

Are those people who stand against marriage equality, bigots or are they just uneducated and therefore ignorant to the situation at hand? The answer is yes. Many who stand against us, perhaps the most vocal of our opponents truly believe that their religious values should trump the civil rights of the LGBT community. And the only way to fight those opponents in my opinion, is to yell louder, be heard and continue to vote for and fund the inclusion of our families in the US Constitution. But I believe that a large percentage of those who stand against us are not bigots.

I believe a large part of the straight community simply does not understand who we are. They have not heard our stories and many feel that they truly know no one else who is gay. I’ve seen again and again, people change their stance on this once they realized that it truly mattered to someone, that someone was being hurt by their votes and their actions.

It must be our job to educate and the page that I am going to open and invite all of you to join, is the page that will help us win our equality. If roughly half the country believes that gay families do not deserve rights, there surely must be a lot of those people who can be convinced otherwise by hearing our stories.

And on that note, I must ask more of our own community and our allies. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered or questioning and you are already out of the closet, we need you to take two more steps out of that closet. Even if it feels strange, tell someone random who you are. Tell your banker. Tell your bus driver. Tell your downstairs neighbor. Tell someone. You never know.

And of our allies, I must ask you to speak to you to do the same. Come out as an ally. Tell your friends and families what you believe to be true. We need you to argue for us. We need you to fight. It’s strange to say, but it’s your words that will ring strongest in some ears. So please, I beg of you. Fight for me. Fight for your gay and lesbian friends. Do more than come to a rally or post a message of support on someone’s facebook.

We have so much work to do, but if we come out, if we educate, and if we stop labeling all those who oppose us as “bigots” (even though at times it is deserved), we can create a tidal wave of change.

In Solidarity,

Jamie
www.talkaboutequality.org

NY Marriage rally in union square

Thu, 5 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

On Wednesday, November 4th, Marriage Equality New York held a small rally at Union Square. Our Scene TV was there to cover the event and there was even a special appearance from Talk About Equality!

closeted

Wed, 4 Nov 2009 00:57:57 -0500

I’ve been a bit at a loss for words – and for those that know me, this is a rare thing.

Yesterday’s losses in Maine and New Jersey were a huge kick in the gut to those of us who fought so hard against the bigotry and hatred that has been dictating voters’ decisions. I’m so deeply hurt. And it’s personal. I’m in a militant mood right now and while the words I choose may be harsh, the feeling inside me right now can be multiplied exponentially.

In this country, on 31 occasions now, voters have been given the ability to strip away the rights of their fellow citizens. And on 31 occasions now, they have succeeded. Their bigoted, hateful and in many cases, religious upbringings have taught them that intolerance and hatred is a value to be celebrated.

I’m therefore calling on all my friends, all my gay, bisexual, transgendered, lesbian, questioning friends to come out of the closet. I’m not a big fan of pointing fingers and blaming people for the loss of my freedoms, but in my opinion, there are some people who need to man up.

For decades in this country, we have allowed others to keep us quiet about who we are and about how we wish to live our lives. It is time for us to wake the fuck up and realize that the longer we allow others to dictate who we are, the longer we will be an oppressed people.

So, to my friends who have not told your mother, father, grandmother, priest, cousin, coworker, high school sweetheart, dog , cat and the guy you buy your groceries from: You have a responsibility to tell them who you are. If you don’t, you are not only a coward, but YOU are responsible for the families who will be ripped apart by immigration inequality. YOU are to blame for children being torn from their families when states pass adoption-discrimination laws. It is YOUR fault when an eleven year-old boy goes home and hangs himself with his own belt – because nothing is worse than being thought of as “gay.”

The apathy needs to end. If you think this doesn’t affect you – you’re wrong. I don’t care if it’s not easy. It wasn’t easy for any of us. But if you fail to tell the truth about who you are, you are worse than those who would bash us in the streets and leave us bloodied and dying there - because your silence allows it to happen.

To my straight friends and family. I am no longer begging or asking nicely. I have spent my life supporting who you are by going to your weddings, by listening and holding you when your boyfriend or husband betrayed you. I’ve been there. And if you ever want me to be there again, you need to be here for me. This is about my rights as a human being. If you’re not with me, you are against me.

Fight. Screw your courage to the sticking place, and we’ll not fail.